Meet Sweet, Sweet Granny. Granny has been in my life for about two months now. She is one of my new favorites that keep me laughing! She is 83 years young and lives in her own apartment attached to the family home. Her daughter from out of state is the one who contacted me originally and the bill is also paid through her. Granny has a lot of family who really love her and all take part in her ‘care’. Granny is very agile for 83 and gets around just fine without any assistance. She was driving until recently when the family convinced her to give her car up to her daughter that was in need of a car.
Upon meeting her, I was quite surprised at how young she looked. Age is such a funny thing. Some people in their 80’s look and act really old. Then there are others like, Ms. Irma who is 94 and you would never guess. I was asked (by her daughter) to pick Granny up to take her to a doctor’s appointment. I arrived and we started the usual conversation to get to know one another. I just casually asked her what she was going to the doctor for. She replied, “I don’t really know. My daughter made me an appointment and told me to go. I just do what my daughter tells me”. She said everyone else runs her life now and she just does what they say.
A few days after this first encounter my phone rang, I knew it was Granny from the caller ID. “Are you with an errand right now?” she asked in a panic. I asked her what she needed. She told me she had fallen and hit her head outside and didn’t know what to do, “so I thought I’d call you”. I asked her some questions and we came up with a plan. Then she finally said, “Oh, by the way, this is Granny!” She told me she thought she would be ok because she hit the hardest part of her anyway – her head!
On another occasion she asked me to take her to the hair dresser. She told me the name of the nearby town that the beauty shop was in so I knew how much time I needed to allow to get there. After I picked her up I asked her where we were going. She said, “I don’t know what it is called but it is behind the grocery store”. Luckily there are only 2 grocery stores in this small town – but neither of them have anything ‘behind’ them. We got to the first grocery store and I drove her around back because she was convinced it was BEHIND the grocery store. We drove past all of the delivery doors and didn’t find a hair dresser. I drove slowly in front of the strip mall that the grocery store was in and we saw a couple of hair salons. She went in the first one to see if that was where she was supposed to be. Yes, we got it right on the first try. She was going to call me when she was done so I could pick her up. An hour and a half went by and I hadn’t heard from her. She was only going to get her hair cut (no color or perm), so I thought I would swing by to check on her. I went into the salon that she had gone into. I didn’t see her anywhere. They asked if they could help me. I told them I was Granny’s ride and I was looking for her. They asked what her name was. Oh! All I knew her by was Granny!! They didn’t seem to have a clue who had just gotten their haircut there that fit her description. They asked me if I was looking for ________ (a typical name) and I knew I had heard her first name once and I knew it was a very old fashioned name that you don’t hear much. I told them that was not it. Finally someone figured out who I was talking about! They told me she had to go to the grocery store to get a few items and get some cash to pay them. I walked down to the grocery store and looked up and down each aisle and checked all the check-out lines. No Granny! I thought I would wait towards the front of the store so I would see her. Eventually I saw her standing at the ATM machine. I went up to her and she said, “Oh, I’m glad you are here, I can’t make this machine give me any money”. We got her some cash and walked back to the salon to pay them. They called her by that typical name and said that is what they have always known her by. She told me most people just know her as “Granny”.
Today we had to go to the hospital for some pre colonoscopy stuff. She told me it was an ‘anesthesia check’. I made sure I knew her name when I dropped her off so I could find her! After she was finished I asked her if she was approved to have anesthesia. She said she didn’t know. I asked her what they did to her for this check. She said they took some blood and asked questions, “A lot of questions”. They also weighed her and she said she has gained 8 lbs.
Granny wanted to stop at the grocery store on the way home. She said she would like to pick up some ‘fresh fruit’. When she came out I saw a bag with ice cream in it! I asked her if it was strawberry ice cream – I said at least you could say it had fruit in it! She did point out that she had bananas too. As we were getting in the car she said she was going to have to have a serious talk with herself because she needs to take this weight off! Back at her house I took her groceries inside and set them on the kitchen table – along with the open package of Oreo cookies! Granny, Granny, Granny.